Immigrant Daughter 58

One night about the time I go to bed a large water bug that looks like a giant cocka roach invaded my kitchen, I went for the bug spray and fly swatter.  I then realized my fly swatter was so small compared to this monster and thought for a moment I was in Guam because this is what greeted me one morning. I forget to mention this was on the counter in front of the toaster oven, I must have used a half can of the bug spray.

Well this monster ran under each item on the counter until it ran under the microwave which is on the end. I managed to knock it on the floor between the frig and the counter. Again I used more spray and sat down at the table and waited. In about five minutes a groggy bug comes out and by the time I made it to my feet it ran back under the frig. This time I got the broom and waited and again it came out for air because of all my spray. The broom came down so fast on that bug and I held it until I could get closer to step on it. When I heard a snap I knew I got it. Let me tell you I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I hadn’t killed it.  I emailed my DIL and told her I almost called her to come and help but knew she was sleeping and didn’t have the heart to wake her up. Surely I can kill a water roach.

I sure miss my honey saving me from such chores, In Guam the bugs were big but I never worried about such things because Carl was always there and I was younger and could move faster than I do now. Does anyone else dislike spiders and bugs as much as I do?

My trailer is only 16 months old and the dirt is only mine so you can see I was a bit taken back when I saw it. Every area  of the country has it share of undesirable bugs. I remember in Guam and California we had to cope with scorpions and crickets. In Arkansas its the brown recluse spider and the black widow.  Isn’t God wonderful that he takes care of his children of any age.

It been at least a week since I have been on the computer to complete this post. I will try to finish it and get on with other things. I have a painting started and I am doing a 1000 piece puzzle just to keep busy.

I had to prepare the lawn tractor for winter and made a trip to Home Depot to purchase Staybil for the gas tank this way I don’t have to worry about the tractor not having a permanent cover. Oh I have a mower cover but that won’t protect liquid from freezing. I know gasoline won’t freeze but the condensation from climate change in the mower gas tank will . I am sure glad Carl was patient and taught me many of the things I need to know now without him.  Our anniversary date just passed making me a bit sad that I am not with him walking on the streets of gold with our Lord.

We are not into our winter as yet so sitting out on the porch with the dogs is a treat for me and them because they know they will get a goody. I took out two pieces of bologna and the Sheltie just swallowed it whole but the Belgium Milionis took it and carried it off the porch and dropped it to lick. As soon as the Sheltie  got too close he just swallowed it whole. I think I am going to take a trip to the dog pound to get a small mutt to have inside. I do miss not having a pet. I thought I would just share Cindy's but when the day is over and they realize she is about due home they want to go out so they don’t miss her. It never ceases to amaze me how attached animals get to our schedules.

I can remember when Carl was due home our dog use to wait on the door stoop just so she could be first to greet him. I already mentioned the Cocker Spaniel “Missy” who adopted Kim’s  bed as her night time sleeping place. Pets are family members as far as I am concerned.

This is where Missy should be sleeping:

 

 

When we chose to live in Muncie, Indiana there was a pet shop that will be remember by by me until my dying day. It really was striking how they advertised their store. They had a large hippopotamus out in front on the sidewalk painted purple that was as large as small car. It was used for many things. The parents use to put their kids on it and take pictures and grownups used it for giving directions because it was on the main drag and you really couldn’t miss it.  It was a fun thing to see and it reminded me of several large cement animals we have seen in different parts of the country. There is a large elephant at the Jersey Shore all decked out that people could climb up for pictures and in the mid west there was a huge Mother Goose that that displayed some of her rhymes.  Also there was a large shoe that the old women lived in that sold cookies and candy. The nursery rhyme themes were easy to copy and everybody enjoyed them. Do kids even hear nursery rhymes anymore? I know the comics in the papers aren’t funny to me in fact they are gross. It seems like the more ugly the better is tolerated. 

I am concerned as to what is ahead for the future children because they are not allowed to be children. I read Stickhorse today and she hit the nail on the head that children are not made to read a book or just have discussions at supper time or even just some quiet time without the TV or computer. They really do need to use their imagination.

I hope I haven’t bored you silly but this nation needs to get back to basics to help the children realize the important things they need don’t come in boxes. Until next time, I am Immigrant Daughter

Immigrant Daughter 57

I want to tell you more of my life with the Love of my life. It seems to me that Lives being displayed whether on the TV or newscasts just the despicable ones are shown because that is what people  want to hear. I am sure there are many of you reading this are not in that group. If I am watching a movie  and the story is good if at any point two unmarried people jump in bed ..click it goes off. I don’t care how good the story is. I guess you would consider me a prude.

I watched the next Dancing With The Stars and the star I did not like was sent packing and I am glad others did not like her either.

I worked for an Insurance Company in Dallas and had a nice job where all the secretaries desks were lined up out in the hallway. The picture below is of the building.   The managers offices were small just be enough for him and a client.

My job included two managers. I had only met the one who hired me. He was respectful and did not use bad language, but the other 0ne use to parade down the hall stopping at the sectaries' along the way telling off color jokes. The first time he stopped at my desk he found out I was not interested in any thing he had to say and if he didn’t have any work for me to just stay away because I wasn’t  there to be insulted. He thought because he was handicapped with a shriveled up leg he could say anything and spoke loud enough so everybody could hear him and said boy stay away from CM’ desk. I mentioned to my other boss if it didn’t improve with the bad language and off co9lor jokes I would have to leave. What ever was said to the man it certainly changed the atmosphere there.

Everyone had the same lunch hour because they offer a reduced cost lunch in their own cafeteria which was delicious. It was there that I had my first taste if a cheese enchilada. They made the standard so high that I have never found any as good as those.

The ladies sat in small groups of friends and people they worked with.  Most time I would eat and leave to walk the rest of the hour. If the weather was yucky I stayed and talked, but mostly listened. I have never heard so many complaints about husbands as I did here. Women spoke freely of  very private things done in their bedrooms, and some not too kindly about their husbands. It was like an on going saga of  “Peyton Place” because they all joined in. Then one day one lady said C. you have said nothing all this time about your husband. I said you are right because comparing my husband to all of yours, after God made C he must have thrown the mold away. And another thing what goes on in our house is private and not for discussion. I have to say when I did eat lunch with them again they curtailed the complaints about their husbands and started to tell some amusing stories about family get together. They did get to meet C because he came in after work to pick me up so we could go up to their Tiki Bar on the 30th floor to have a drink and supper. It was a nice place to bring guests. My kids tell me they remembered the place,

Again I say there isn’t any place we have lived that we didn’t like and I would say Dallas ranked high on the list. At that time I would have to say Dallas was so spread out and easy to get about because the LBJ Freeway went around the city making a complete circle. We lived at the top of the circle and I worked at the bottom of the circle. The new airport was close to us so C could get in and  out of Dallas easily. We thoroughly enjoyed our live there. C bought a boat that we put on Lake Texoma  It was called that because it was on the border of Texas and Oklahoma. The lake is so big we never did get to the Oklahoma side.

The house we purchased was a Tudor type  with an upstairs and for us this  was certainly different.  But it had a big room C used as an office on the first floor and made his work at home more enjoyable. The thing I remember most about this house the lady who had this house before us loved yellow. Everything was yellow outside and inside. It was a cheerful house and I liked it. I have mentioned before between the military moving us and C’ company moving us that we lived in so many houses I really am having fun remembering them. This house  had a small kitchen with an extra large dining area attached to the kitchen area. Our animals loved the space because they had run of the whole house.

One night we had C’s boss over for spaghetti and meat balls. When he was finished eating we had to take him to the motel. I just rinsed and stacked the dished putting them on the counter. I put the left over spaghetti in a bowl and left it on the counter surrounded by the cups and glasses because it was too warm for the fridge and we we were coming right back.  Our animals never lacked for food but the smell must have been overwhelming because when we returned the bowl was on the floor and the spaghetti  was all gone. Our dogs did not greet us as usual because their tummies were bulging. C and I had to mop the floor before going to bed. I did the dishes and he mopped the floor.

There incidents about all of them that I hope I am not boring you with my memory of them. I don’t get too many responses but I guess it’s just me enjoying my memory of them and the man I shared them with. So until next  time, I am Immigrant Daughter

IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER 56

 

A day doesn’t go by when I am not looking for something and that reminds me of a time long ago when Carl and I did our weekly jaunt to the lake when he would come home from work on Friday. We each had a special responsibility to get ready to go. To him it was pleasure and to me it was work. Oh, it it was pleasurable too after I got there and didn’t forget anything.

I am not expressing myself very well so I had better explain some of the dilemma that faced me. If it was up to Carl we would only take water because he could go without eating for a long time. Me, I couldn’t last a day without my next meal. Food for taking on our boat was different because of it having to be kept cool. The different boats that we had over the years gave us much pleasure and to me hard work.

Our Boston Whaler was one the that kids could water ski behind,  and we had a neighbor that had two smaller kids than ours who like to tag along with us and bought their own boat. Now they knew nothing about boating and would copy us in any way they could. They were pleasant enough people to be around, but their only trouble was they argued over silly things they should have laughed about. They were ten years younger and I won’t say smarter but more educated than I was. You can’t put Carl into that equation because he was so much smarter because of having to learn the hard way by life’s hard knocks that books can’t teach.

One weekend we were too busy to go to the lake on Saturday and made plans to go after church on Sunday. It was a rush but we made it. As we were loading up to go the couple across the street always followed us. But this day they were having words even before they left giving each other orders and they did not get off when we did and arrived just as we put our  boat in the water and they yelled to us to wait for them because we always made it out to one of the islands to unload the food and stuff out of the boat so it can go fast enough for water skiing. Well as we waited and waited we finally yelled we were going on to our island we always went to.

When they finally got there and told us what the trouble was we just laughed. They left without the key to the boat and had to go all the way home to get the key. They did not have a check off list or who was given the particular assignment of boat, food,extra gas can to be put in the boat for travel. All this could have been eliminated if they would just quit arguing and talk. After listening to DIL stories about her clients she would have less clients if couples were more respectful and talk to each other more than they do.

Getting back to going to the lake one thing I did not have to worry about was the car. That was Carl’s responsibility. The only thing he liked me to do was help wash it. Car wash establishments were not as plentiful then as they are now. But I love to get wet to help cool off in the summer heat. Although I like the heat and sun I would darken without having to sit  in the sun. My olive complexion takes to the sun nicely. Poor Carl had a fair ruddy complexion and had to keep covered with sun screen and long sleeves When he was young and allowed to be in the Navy the went through the the first blistering sun burn his skin adapted to having to be outside. One liberty he and is friends doing the normal stuff young men do to prove they are grown. One liberty headed out to town to drink and got sloshed and ended up with two small tattoos one on each forearm. He was always ashamed of these and would never wear short sleeve shirts.

I mention this to say I was watching the first show of Dancing With The Stars the other night and one of the so called stars had tattoos all over her body.  To me this was disgusting and found myself hoping she would be eliminated early. Well she wasn’t,  so I will have to watch her again but I want to say she did at least have the sense to wear a costume that covered her body. It also caused her to trip and getting up not so lady like. Does anyone else like this nonsense program. I love to watch them dance I know it is something I can’t do but love to watch others dance.

I remember when Carl and I danced  in the Green Room in the  Edison Hotel in New York City. We were both self conscious but very much in love. Boy that was a long time ago. As I understand it that hotel is now long gone but not the memories.

 The New York Skyline is a beautiful site because of The Statue Of Liberty in the harbor is unforgettable.  Living in New Jersey one of the beautiful sites driving into New York was the Statue of Liberty.

I see I  am jumping around with subjects and it is difficult to sort out some of the stories I want to mention. I  have so much I want to tell you but not to make this too long I will say, until next time I am Immigrant Daughter.

IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER 55

The days seem to pass so quickly.  I know I said that before, but being alive was brought close to home this past week.  I received an e mail about a young lady who was on staff at our church who just dropped dead at home.  Her husband called 911 and when they got there she was unconscious.  By the time thy got to the hospital she was dead.  They have  not determined cause of death.  This young lady had three children at home and a husband.  It hit me: Why, Lord?

She was active in children’s ministry.  As I understand it, she balanced her life with husband and children with her work at the church and home.  Such a sad day!  I happened to wonder why the lord would allow this and leave me, an 80-year-old who has lived a full life and who is now living alone because her husband of 58 years has passed on.  I was left behind, so I asked the Lord, “Why her, and not me?”  These children are left to grow up without a mother.

Both of my girls bawled me out and told me I was needed and not just existing, as I had said.

I went out to go to the post office today and my car would not start.  The car key inserted in the lock would not turn.  I could not shift it.  It just stayed put without a sound, so I stopped trying to start it and came inside and called the Honda repair service.  They told me to use my second key and, sure enough, it started right up.  No one had a good explanation as to why just changing keys worked.

I love to do puzzles because it helps hand and eye coordination for me and helps to keep my mind busy.  My DIL saw this particular puzzle and said “Better you than me!” The hardest part of doing any puzzle is the separating of the pieces by color, and this one is difficult because it is a bookcase full of books.  The titles are humouse because they changed them to be funny, like “Lord of the pies,” and “Posy Girl.” 

Here is a picture of my puzzle.  The colors of the book covers have little humorous characters on them.  It is like a fairy tale in pictures.  I can only do puzzles that will fit on my card table so that means they can’t be more than 30 by 30 inches and they are usually 1000 pieces of under.

I separate the pieces and put the different colors in box lids so I can work on different sections.  To me, it is relaxing and time consuming and helps pass the time.

I am also reading a book, Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas that is intriguing.  I usually watch mysteries or police shows and hope they make this into a movie, because  this book is about a man putting God first in all his decisions.  He is a young man in the Hitler time in Germany, and his life reads like a  movie.

I remember when I was in school, the only books I read were the ones assigned as must-reading for the class.  I have grown into a person who likes to read, especially mysteries, who donits and police stories.   I especially like books such as by Tom Clancy.

I am ashamed to say that Carl tried many times tried to get me to read because he used to like to read and he was a fast reader.  Me, I am a slow reader.  I can read something and have to read it over again to understand it.  I do know my limitations and reading details is low on my list.  When you buy something and have to put together a good thing for me is that they put pictures in the directions.

I went to my second session therapy for getting muscles in my hi p and leg flexible so that I can walk better than I do.  I have heard many stories about hip replacements and all I can say is mine was the pits!

Until next time I am a very sore Immigrant Daughter.

IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER 54

I would like to tell you of our trip to Colorado Springs in the 1990’s. I was reminded of this by a phone call from my daughter this evening. I mentioned before we traveled quite a bit. Carl wanted to just travel all the time in fact he was like the person in Willie Nelson’s song “On The Road Again”. I held him back because I wanted roots somewhere. We did agree that when we got back East we would find a place.

The main reason I did not want to travel was in the early years of being a diabetic the equipment was syringes made of  glass and had to be sterilized. That made traveling a hardship for me. To travel anywhere overnight I had to have clean syringes and insulin on hand. Motels were not equipped to handle people with special needs like they are now. So I hated to travel. You should see me now. They have improved insulin and made disposable syringes with needles attached. It is as different as night and day and I ready do go on a moments notice.

Getting back to Colorado Springs where my daughter called me from she remember me telling her of our trip and about the different things to see. The Lord sculptured the rocks like no other place. Pikes Peak is in Colorado Springs It is 12,000 feet high and the first women to climb the peak was Julia Archibald Homes on foot. My girls took the tram up and back. Pioneers they are not.

There is so much to see as a tourist. The  United State Air Force Academy plus the Olympic Complex that gives a panoramic view of the entire area is there. The Dare  Bridge at Royal George is breathtaking to see even at a distance. My mined cannot comprehend how they completed building that expanse. When we went to Colorado Springs it was for  seminar for learning how to live with diabetics that was held at the conference center called Glen Erie Castle there that is owned by the Navigators a Christian based organization that owns it. They rent rooms out to tourists and people attending the conferences. The the picture of the Castle graced the cover of their monthly magazine for many years.

The Valley Of The Gods is open for tours. If you like the outdoors it is a must place to visit. There are many places you can take your car for a short distance. Camera buffs have  helped Kodak improve their business.

The most popular place to visit for people with children is Focus On The Family, a radio ministry started by Dr. Dobson who counseled families with their children. His most famous book is The Strong Willed Child and I think every family has at least one. Dr. Dobson spoke in down to earth English all mothers could understand.   I know I needed the help raising my three.

We decided if we were going to be on the road we needed to get a vehicle that was more comfortable and  could cut some of our expenses. Carl traded up to a large paneled van with large windows on both sides. It had two front passenger doors and on the passenger side it also had a double door making it easy to pack and live out of. It was a navy blue Vanguard. We put on many miles of pleasure driving it. We definitely were “van” people.

We could just drive until we were tired and stop rest areas, parks or truck stops and set up the Coleman stove , chairs and table and eat. Years before I had purchased a steeled framed masonite   top table for picnicking that carried like a suitcase. When it opened flat like a suitcase the legs had to unfolded down from the benc h seat so that when it was turned upright you had a table top with a bench on either side that had legs. I had never seen any like the one  we had. I purchased it at an Navy Exchange store but can’t remember where. We used this table many many years.

When we traveled we sang old songs like Pack Up Your Old Kit Bag, You are my Sunshine, Clementine, Good Night Irene, Smile Awhile  and Carl’s favorite was Deep In The Heart of Texas. The Kids always joined in and had some ditties of their own they sang. When we drove through Texas you really can see the array of stars at night. It is breathtaking to see such clear skies, Carl and I both came from coastal places that were always cloudy and misty and very seldom saw clear skies.

Backing up a little in my story before the van trek. I needed to tell you car buying was always designated to Carl who would keep me abreast of his decision. When we were in El Centro, California and were making plans to come back East Carl knew we needed something better than we had to drive. He traded our little car for a blue Roadmaster Buick that had more bells and whistles on it than we had ever seen.  This picture looks like it except for color.  Ours was blue.  It was huge compared to the little Ford we traded in. The back seat was so large and plush and comfortable. We didn’t hear the usual bickering like stay on your own side and mom he’s touching me for a dew days. We did hear it’s my turn to sit up front.

We kept a blanket in the car for stops so we could spread out on the grass and let the kids run around for exercise. This helped a great deal because they knew we would stop. The closer we got to the East Coast we had to fight rain because that rob us of letting the kids outside. Traveling with the kids was challenging for us but we made out because of Carl’s easy disposition while driving. I would said the hardest thing about traveling with kids were the bathroom stops making them realize if you didn’t go now you had a long wait. They learned quickly because when Carl stopped and said bathroom break they ran because we did stop many times just for exercise.

I have enjoyed sharing another part of our life with you. Thank you for stopping to read my story,  This is a good place to say until next time I am, Immigrant Daughter

IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER 53

I think I have a keyboard that is giving up the ghost. It does its own thing, it will not make capital letters when I want it to. When I went to bed last night I had a thought I didn’t jot down and it seems like now I am not writing what I truly intended.

Family is so important and it is disturbing to see that the emphasis is to be alone these days. As a family you learn so much from each other.

I mentioned growing up in a family that like to sing. I remember songs that told stories. When I was dating my husband I can remember the love songs I sang to him because it was so easy to do. The words in the song said what I really wanted to say only I could sing them.

When you are young everything is a crisis. When Carl had to work I can remember singing to myself a song “ All alone by the telephone waiting for the ring  a tingle ling, and the rest of the words were just as apropos. Now everyone carries a phone. Did you ever feel lost yet you were surrounded by people. That is the way I feel sometimes with all the easy to carry telephones and no matter where you are someone is talking on the phone.

People do not even realize they are being rude when they carry on conversations where they can be heard by anyone in the vicinity. What in the world can be so important to tell someone that you just left a few minutes ago. Oh I realize people use it in a way for their work but I think it has gotten to be a habit of talking all the time. Sitting quit is a lost art. Maybe we should instill a time out chair.

When you wanted children quiet did you use a time out chair I don’t mean a room because they can go play in their room and not be still. I don’t  think a computer allows a child’s mind to be quiet in fact I think it keeps it going at a whirlwind pace. I know at this age I get overwhelmed as to what I can learn and sometimes without even trying. With all these amazing tools at our fingertips.

It use to be you could tell what someone did when you saw the tools of his trade. Now between telephones and computers its a good guess. Carl had an aunt who was a genealogist and I remember her saying the computer seem to put books at her fingertips making it easier to trace people’ heritage. It was amazing what she turned up for Carl who was told a lie about his parents while growing up. The Law thank goodness was changed about not telling orphans about their parents.  Opening up the books allowed for many a family to be found  for the child later in life.

My DIL has mentioned some heart wrenching stories about divorcing parents and how the kids are used as pawns. Where is until the death do us part?  They are so self centered that they only think pleasures for themselves. They bring kids into the world and think nothing of discarding them. I think this is sad.

I was talking to a teacher at a church function about the school where she teaches. They are trying to get the parent or parents involved in their progress at school so they can give home support. It was a surprise to me to hear they do not teach penmanship in school. It seems that children learn on the computer keyboard quicker than they can from a book. Even in the younger grades they have these tools in easier programs. In my wildest guess I cannot imagine what can be introduced as some thing new to the next generation.

Something that I use is a cane and even those come in various shapes and sizes. They are not just a plain straight stick any more they have double crooks so you can rest your elbow. Some collapse so you can put in a large purse and come in all colors.

 

When my sister came to visit me she came without her cane because it was and old wooded crook that she thought they wouldn’t let her take aboard the plane. Of course that’s nonsense  so we made sure she had a collapsible one going home. I see looking over what I wrote it is a mishmash of thoughts.

But I must say I feel great and so thankful I can use this new tool God had given me to write with and especially thankful to you who read it. Until Next time I am Immigrant Daughter from way down yonder. 

Immigrant Daughter 52

This is a day I remember clearly because three years ago I lost the best thing I ever had,  my husband. I am thankful the Lord gave me good memories of our 58 years together. Here is a picture of his funeral and the presentation of the flag:

I am aware that we had times that we both had to struggle through that’s the way marriage is it takes equal effort because n0 one is perfect.  I can offer one word of advice do not say any thing in anger because that causes you to say words you really don’t mean. When you speak them you meant them and you can’t take them back. I was so glad I learned that growing up. That is one reason my one sister got along so well, we could get mad at each other and leave each other alone and after about fifteen minutes it would be over and could pick up right where we left off.

Oh I thought I could just pick up and go on but a  mental block caused me to not write. I didn’t think this would happen because I know he is in a better place and it’s where I want to be. I have to say I am existing and when I read Stick horse Cowgirls today it jolted me back to reality. Yes I am still here and I better get on with the task that the Lord’ given me, I have daughters and DIL that love me and have never seen me this  despondent so I had better take hold and walk with God and not on my own. 

There is a Broadway play made into a movie call “The Student Prince” where his life is drastically changing because his father dies and now he will be king and he sings a song “I’ll Walk With  God From This Day On”, because he knows he could never do it alone. I guess I have been trying to do it myself. I know this must seem to you as rambling but I want you to know where I am coming from. I have to tell you that it is not easy but I am sure of the results.

Some years back Carl wrote this word he received when he was alone with God:

Our youngest daughter had a friend that put it in this form and had it framed for him. I want to thank Vee for her comment to my DIL it was a help to me.

I will get back to the part of my life that was a busy time in our lives. With kids going to school brought back memories of Toms River,  N. J. when the schools were so crowded the schools had to stagger starting time. We had three children and they each started school at a different time. They had to ride the bus making the schedules start earlier because of the bus ride which took longer to get to school, because of the territory they had to cover picking up kids. Much like it is today.

I make sure I am not on the road during the going to school time and the coming home  hour. The dogs always let me know when the kids are walking by from the school bus drop.

I remember when our kids liked to come home and play outside until supper. We lived in a small development,  Carl car pooled so I was able to have the car so go to work when the kids were in school. I worked for a dentist who let me work short hours.  The base at Lakehurst was not too far away. We purchased our first home for $16,500. It was a new 3 bedroom ranch with carport attached resting on a full basement placed on a corner lot. The egg farm owners sold part of the land for the development and they were next door to us one small block away. We were able to purchase fresh eggs all the time. That was a plus side to living there.

Our children grew up here until the oldest was about to enter the 9th grade. Those were good years for us with just the normal problems of a growing family that all parents go through. I will say this in comparison to today I am so glad we are not raising kids in today's’ world. Between the television and the internet I am not sure which robs our kids more of the innocence of youth.

Thank you for caring. Immigrant Daughter