IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER 63

It has been a week since I last posted and weather wise a lot has happened. Here in Arkansas we have had freezing weather and six inches of snow and for me that is more than I have seen since living up north.

It is a bit of  an in convenience  for me for me not being able to drive myself around and therefore I am a shut in. I really don’t mind being alone but I must tell you of an incident I experienced this  past holiday.

Since my better half passed on three years ago it really hit me low. I became very depressed and not liking myself at all. When I snapped out of it after going to the doctor and asking for some help just to get over the bumps in the road. I am not a willing pill taker. I did not get to see my regular doctor and had to see an associate in the clinic. Not liking it but accepting it. The doctor was either Indian or or Hindu and I had to give him a complete run down of my medical history. This is why I want to stick to just one doctor. Even though my medical history is in the computer he asked me all the usual questions because he was too lazy to read it ahead of time.

I can go on about what a bummer this visit turned out to be but I took the script he prescribed and left. I mailed it in to my mail order pharmacy and when I got it back I started taking it. I never read the contra indications of the drug just the directions of when and how to take it. That was my first mistake. Mistake number two would show my prejudices and that is not good.

One day while getting bills ready to be paid I all ways go through the the extra junk paper to throw away so it won’t pile up. I started to read the rest of the information that came with the drug he prescribed and realized this is an indicative drug you can never stop and my brain went WHOA and no wine or drink of any kind. I immediately weaned myself off this off this by cutting the pill in half and taking it every other day until it was gone.

I am not a habitual drinker but I do like a glass of wine or even two and for me not to be able to indulge at all would be adding to the problem I went to eliminate. I can remember my better half was a pill pusher selling drugs to the doctors and hospitals and he told me so many things to avoid and drugs like this was one of them.

I called my mail order pharmacy and had to go through the rigger  ma roll of trying to talk to a real person and not a machine. That is another pet peeve I have calling and trying to reach someone to talk to and being told don’t hang up you call is important to us and leave us hanging on to battle the machine and finally get the “leave you name, age and why you are calling and someone will get back to0 you”. This makes you having to stay glued to the house until they call back like my time is not important as important as theirs.

When I did get a call back and was put through to a person I told them not to send this drug to me ever again and explained to them why.  They said they understand and would wipe it from my record. They did confirm the danger of  the addict ion to this drug.  Most of my life has been spent of having to take insulin to live and I wasn’t needing another crutch to live on. I know people that think pills are the answer, but I do not

Well I am over the depression state now that the holidays are over and I feel great not perfect but just great.

I received four puzzles for Christmas all different and I started to put one together. A thousand pieces will keep me busy for several weeks. In between I am enjoying the sports and getting ready for March madness in college basketball. I do have a couple of favorites.

Carl and I loved to watch all the teams play but we did want the favorites end the year in the top so we could root root for the home team. He always like the big ten schools and I always liked Pennsylvania and East Coast teams. We would have lots of fun kidding each other while enjoying our beer and popcorn watching the game. I can’t explain the inner pleasure we had but I can tell you I miss that when I am watching the games by myself. The weekends were relaxing times for us because it was special.

My home is small but comfortable and the saying “a place for everything and everything in its’ place. I have a small plastic tool box on my two drawer file cabinet that has wheels I have the small tools like hammer, pliers, level and the like. They all have my initials on the handle. I had to do this because Carl was great for not being able to find his tools half of the time because he would lend them out to  anyone and never get them back. So I kept my own tool for the house so  that I could find what I needed to hang a picture or what ever I needed a tool for.

We really were compatible and blessed that the Lord Jesus put us together to share our lives. I know this more now that he is gone and I am still here. And yes, I am not in the state of depression.

Without the Lord I would be. Until next time I am Immigrant Daughter.