IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER 55

The days seem to pass so quickly.  I know I said that before, but being alive was brought close to home this past week.  I received an e mail about a young lady who was on staff at our church who just dropped dead at home.  Her husband called 911 and when they got there she was unconscious.  By the time thy got to the hospital she was dead.  They have  not determined cause of death.  This young lady had three children at home and a husband.  It hit me: Why, Lord?

She was active in children’s ministry.  As I understand it, she balanced her life with husband and children with her work at the church and home.  Such a sad day!  I happened to wonder why the lord would allow this and leave me, an 80-year-old who has lived a full life and who is now living alone because her husband of 58 years has passed on.  I was left behind, so I asked the Lord, “Why her, and not me?”  These children are left to grow up without a mother.

Both of my girls bawled me out and told me I was needed and not just existing, as I had said.

I went out to go to the post office today and my car would not start.  The car key inserted in the lock would not turn.  I could not shift it.  It just stayed put without a sound, so I stopped trying to start it and came inside and called the Honda repair service.  They told me to use my second key and, sure enough, it started right up.  No one had a good explanation as to why just changing keys worked.

I love to do puzzles because it helps hand and eye coordination for me and helps to keep my mind busy.  My DIL saw this particular puzzle and said “Better you than me!” The hardest part of doing any puzzle is the separating of the pieces by color, and this one is difficult because it is a bookcase full of books.  The titles are humouse because they changed them to be funny, like “Lord of the pies,” and “Posy Girl.” 

Here is a picture of my puzzle.  The colors of the book covers have little humorous characters on them.  It is like a fairy tale in pictures.  I can only do puzzles that will fit on my card table so that means they can’t be more than 30 by 30 inches and they are usually 1000 pieces of under.

I separate the pieces and put the different colors in box lids so I can work on different sections.  To me, it is relaxing and time consuming and helps pass the time.

I am also reading a book, Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas that is intriguing.  I usually watch mysteries or police shows and hope they make this into a movie, because  this book is about a man putting God first in all his decisions.  He is a young man in the Hitler time in Germany, and his life reads like a  movie.

I remember when I was in school, the only books I read were the ones assigned as must-reading for the class.  I have grown into a person who likes to read, especially mysteries, who donits and police stories.   I especially like books such as by Tom Clancy.

I am ashamed to say that Carl tried many times tried to get me to read because he used to like to read and he was a fast reader.  Me, I am a slow reader.  I can read something and have to read it over again to understand it.  I do know my limitations and reading details is low on my list.  When you buy something and have to put together a good thing for me is that they put pictures in the directions.

I went to my second session therapy for getting muscles in my hi p and leg flexible so that I can walk better than I do.  I have heard many stories about hip replacements and all I can say is mine was the pits!

Until next time I am a very sore Immigrant Daughter.

IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER 54

I would like to tell you of our trip to Colorado Springs in the 1990’s. I was reminded of this by a phone call from my daughter this evening. I mentioned before we traveled quite a bit. Carl wanted to just travel all the time in fact he was like the person in Willie Nelson’s song “On The Road Again”. I held him back because I wanted roots somewhere. We did agree that when we got back East we would find a place.

The main reason I did not want to travel was in the early years of being a diabetic the equipment was syringes made of  glass and had to be sterilized. That made traveling a hardship for me. To travel anywhere overnight I had to have clean syringes and insulin on hand. Motels were not equipped to handle people with special needs like they are now. So I hated to travel. You should see me now. They have improved insulin and made disposable syringes with needles attached. It is as different as night and day and I ready do go on a moments notice.

Getting back to Colorado Springs where my daughter called me from she remember me telling her of our trip and about the different things to see. The Lord sculptured the rocks like no other place. Pikes Peak is in Colorado Springs It is 12,000 feet high and the first women to climb the peak was Julia Archibald Homes on foot. My girls took the tram up and back. Pioneers they are not.

There is so much to see as a tourist. The  United State Air Force Academy plus the Olympic Complex that gives a panoramic view of the entire area is there. The Dare  Bridge at Royal George is breathtaking to see even at a distance. My mined cannot comprehend how they completed building that expanse. When we went to Colorado Springs it was for  seminar for learning how to live with diabetics that was held at the conference center called Glen Erie Castle there that is owned by the Navigators a Christian based organization that owns it. They rent rooms out to tourists and people attending the conferences. The the picture of the Castle graced the cover of their monthly magazine for many years.

The Valley Of The Gods is open for tours. If you like the outdoors it is a must place to visit. There are many places you can take your car for a short distance. Camera buffs have  helped Kodak improve their business.

The most popular place to visit for people with children is Focus On The Family, a radio ministry started by Dr. Dobson who counseled families with their children. His most famous book is The Strong Willed Child and I think every family has at least one. Dr. Dobson spoke in down to earth English all mothers could understand.   I know I needed the help raising my three.

We decided if we were going to be on the road we needed to get a vehicle that was more comfortable and  could cut some of our expenses. Carl traded up to a large paneled van with large windows on both sides. It had two front passenger doors and on the passenger side it also had a double door making it easy to pack and live out of. It was a navy blue Vanguard. We put on many miles of pleasure driving it. We definitely were “van” people.

We could just drive until we were tired and stop rest areas, parks or truck stops and set up the Coleman stove , chairs and table and eat. Years before I had purchased a steeled framed masonite   top table for picnicking that carried like a suitcase. When it opened flat like a suitcase the legs had to unfolded down from the benc h seat so that when it was turned upright you had a table top with a bench on either side that had legs. I had never seen any like the one  we had. I purchased it at an Navy Exchange store but can’t remember where. We used this table many many years.

When we traveled we sang old songs like Pack Up Your Old Kit Bag, You are my Sunshine, Clementine, Good Night Irene, Smile Awhile  and Carl’s favorite was Deep In The Heart of Texas. The Kids always joined in and had some ditties of their own they sang. When we drove through Texas you really can see the array of stars at night. It is breathtaking to see such clear skies, Carl and I both came from coastal places that were always cloudy and misty and very seldom saw clear skies.

Backing up a little in my story before the van trek. I needed to tell you car buying was always designated to Carl who would keep me abreast of his decision. When we were in El Centro, California and were making plans to come back East Carl knew we needed something better than we had to drive. He traded our little car for a blue Roadmaster Buick that had more bells and whistles on it than we had ever seen.  This picture looks like it except for color.  Ours was blue.  It was huge compared to the little Ford we traded in. The back seat was so large and plush and comfortable. We didn’t hear the usual bickering like stay on your own side and mom he’s touching me for a dew days. We did hear it’s my turn to sit up front.

We kept a blanket in the car for stops so we could spread out on the grass and let the kids run around for exercise. This helped a great deal because they knew we would stop. The closer we got to the East Coast we had to fight rain because that rob us of letting the kids outside. Traveling with the kids was challenging for us but we made out because of Carl’s easy disposition while driving. I would said the hardest thing about traveling with kids were the bathroom stops making them realize if you didn’t go now you had a long wait. They learned quickly because when Carl stopped and said bathroom break they ran because we did stop many times just for exercise.

I have enjoyed sharing another part of our life with you. Thank you for stopping to read my story,  This is a good place to say until next time I am, Immigrant Daughter

IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER 53

I think I have a keyboard that is giving up the ghost. It does its own thing, it will not make capital letters when I want it to. When I went to bed last night I had a thought I didn’t jot down and it seems like now I am not writing what I truly intended.

Family is so important and it is disturbing to see that the emphasis is to be alone these days. As a family you learn so much from each other.

I mentioned growing up in a family that like to sing. I remember songs that told stories. When I was dating my husband I can remember the love songs I sang to him because it was so easy to do. The words in the song said what I really wanted to say only I could sing them.

When you are young everything is a crisis. When Carl had to work I can remember singing to myself a song “ All alone by the telephone waiting for the ring  a tingle ling, and the rest of the words were just as apropos. Now everyone carries a phone. Did you ever feel lost yet you were surrounded by people. That is the way I feel sometimes with all the easy to carry telephones and no matter where you are someone is talking on the phone.

People do not even realize they are being rude when they carry on conversations where they can be heard by anyone in the vicinity. What in the world can be so important to tell someone that you just left a few minutes ago. Oh I realize people use it in a way for their work but I think it has gotten to be a habit of talking all the time. Sitting quit is a lost art. Maybe we should instill a time out chair.

When you wanted children quiet did you use a time out chair I don’t mean a room because they can go play in their room and not be still. I don’t  think a computer allows a child’s mind to be quiet in fact I think it keeps it going at a whirlwind pace. I know at this age I get overwhelmed as to what I can learn and sometimes without even trying. With all these amazing tools at our fingertips.

It use to be you could tell what someone did when you saw the tools of his trade. Now between telephones and computers its a good guess. Carl had an aunt who was a genealogist and I remember her saying the computer seem to put books at her fingertips making it easier to trace people’ heritage. It was amazing what she turned up for Carl who was told a lie about his parents while growing up. The Law thank goodness was changed about not telling orphans about their parents.  Opening up the books allowed for many a family to be found  for the child later in life.

My DIL has mentioned some heart wrenching stories about divorcing parents and how the kids are used as pawns. Where is until the death do us part?  They are so self centered that they only think pleasures for themselves. They bring kids into the world and think nothing of discarding them. I think this is sad.

I was talking to a teacher at a church function about the school where she teaches. They are trying to get the parent or parents involved in their progress at school so they can give home support. It was a surprise to me to hear they do not teach penmanship in school. It seems that children learn on the computer keyboard quicker than they can from a book. Even in the younger grades they have these tools in easier programs. In my wildest guess I cannot imagine what can be introduced as some thing new to the next generation.

Something that I use is a cane and even those come in various shapes and sizes. They are not just a plain straight stick any more they have double crooks so you can rest your elbow. Some collapse so you can put in a large purse and come in all colors.

 

When my sister came to visit me she came without her cane because it was and old wooded crook that she thought they wouldn’t let her take aboard the plane. Of course that’s nonsense  so we made sure she had a collapsible one going home. I see looking over what I wrote it is a mishmash of thoughts.

But I must say I feel great and so thankful I can use this new tool God had given me to write with and especially thankful to you who read it. Until Next time I am Immigrant Daughter from way down yonder. 

Immigrant Daughter 52

This is a day I remember clearly because three years ago I lost the best thing I ever had,  my husband. I am thankful the Lord gave me good memories of our 58 years together. Here is a picture of his funeral and the presentation of the flag:

I am aware that we had times that we both had to struggle through that’s the way marriage is it takes equal effort because n0 one is perfect.  I can offer one word of advice do not say any thing in anger because that causes you to say words you really don’t mean. When you speak them you meant them and you can’t take them back. I was so glad I learned that growing up. That is one reason my one sister got along so well, we could get mad at each other and leave each other alone and after about fifteen minutes it would be over and could pick up right where we left off.

Oh I thought I could just pick up and go on but a  mental block caused me to not write. I didn’t think this would happen because I know he is in a better place and it’s where I want to be. I have to say I am existing and when I read Stick horse Cowgirls today it jolted me back to reality. Yes I am still here and I better get on with the task that the Lord’ given me, I have daughters and DIL that love me and have never seen me this  despondent so I had better take hold and walk with God and not on my own. 

There is a Broadway play made into a movie call “The Student Prince” where his life is drastically changing because his father dies and now he will be king and he sings a song “I’ll Walk With  God From This Day On”, because he knows he could never do it alone. I guess I have been trying to do it myself. I know this must seem to you as rambling but I want you to know where I am coming from. I have to tell you that it is not easy but I am sure of the results.

Some years back Carl wrote this word he received when he was alone with God:

Our youngest daughter had a friend that put it in this form and had it framed for him. I want to thank Vee for her comment to my DIL it was a help to me.

I will get back to the part of my life that was a busy time in our lives. With kids going to school brought back memories of Toms River,  N. J. when the schools were so crowded the schools had to stagger starting time. We had three children and they each started school at a different time. They had to ride the bus making the schedules start earlier because of the bus ride which took longer to get to school, because of the territory they had to cover picking up kids. Much like it is today.

I make sure I am not on the road during the going to school time and the coming home  hour. The dogs always let me know when the kids are walking by from the school bus drop.

I remember when our kids liked to come home and play outside until supper. We lived in a small development,  Carl car pooled so I was able to have the car so go to work when the kids were in school. I worked for a dentist who let me work short hours.  The base at Lakehurst was not too far away. We purchased our first home for $16,500. It was a new 3 bedroom ranch with carport attached resting on a full basement placed on a corner lot. The egg farm owners sold part of the land for the development and they were next door to us one small block away. We were able to purchase fresh eggs all the time. That was a plus side to living there.

Our children grew up here until the oldest was about to enter the 9th grade. Those were good years for us with just the normal problems of a growing family that all parents go through. I will say this in comparison to today I am so glad we are not raising kids in today's’ world. Between the television and the internet I am not sure which robs our kids more of the innocence of youth.

Thank you for caring. Immigrant Daughter